Pardon me for writing this at 12.25AM ++++ in the morning of Vesak Day. I'm exhuasted both physically and mentally, but I simply had to write (type) down some inklings of what's been on my mind for the past few days before everything slips away and this post-performance high leaves me.

I'm really touched that some of you have been asking how I am! Admittedly the past few days haven't been the greatest and some of you have told me that I look really dazed and stressed and all that (which maybe happens so during lectures).

It seems to me that juggling of priorities was never as easy as it sounded and sooner or later i'm going to have to make a choice between council dance ISLE grades church etc etc etc (imagine being told that a million times) and sooner or later at some point in time I might have to let go of certain commitments, even if it is for a while.

To be completely frank, council teachers aren't very happy with me over my involvement in CCA and ISLE because as EXCO priority should by right belong to council. I don't blame them completely - I do see where they're coming from and they do certainly have a point. With SYF, MR house events, ISLE overseas trips, how is one supposed to handle on that on top of academics? When they asked me that I never had any real answer to that because I really didn't know. I suppose a "take it as it comes" would probably be my best approach but I would've probably been eaten alive if I said so.

It got me thinking a lot over the past few days. It wouldn't be a lie to add in the stress and worry factor either.

Miraculously, I was able to survive the meetings and the teachers' displeasure to go for this Republic Poly Performance :) It seemed to solve everything. I'd just like to say that whenever dance prac happens my mind becomes lucid and I stop worrying about everything. Everytime the music comes on everything just seems to solve itself and I escape into a little world with all of you, even if it's just for a while.

I guess what i'm saying that even if I have to drop Dance eventually (which I hope never will happen), you guys are one of the best things that have ever happened to me :) I'll never forget all the nonsense moments we all shared, be it in the Mini LT, bus rides or pre-performance randomness. Be it Yeung Kai's singing, Kenneth's point of cuteness, Chenwei's bboy moves, Sufyan's gossip detector, Yonghan's indian dancing, Clement's handstands, Joel's support, Syafiq's harmonizing, Ruifen's camera skills, Natasha's crazy flexibility, Linwen's lousy finger coordination, Kyung Tae's make-up skills, Amanda's reaction to the camera, Eenette's loudness, Meiying's quietness (hmm), Li Bing's random burst of high-ness, Liting's blur moments, Shijin's clubberness and Wenying's ability to make people listen to her ("HOT PEOPLE LISTEN TO ME!"), you guys have made Modern Dance as awesome as it is.

If you ask me now how I'd rank my priorities I frankly wouldn't really know what to tell you. I do suppose it's rather irresponsible or selfish of me, and I won't deny that I sometimes I doubt whether I'm really up to all this. I hope you guys have faith in me though, because you all are what keeps me going.

I hope you guys will understand if I can't make it for practices sometimes, because things are going to get fiercer and tougher and I have to make decisions as a house captain most of the time instead of a dancer.

But believe me, I've fallen in love with Dance, and if I have to quit it it'd definitely be one of my biggest regrets in my entire JC life.

Till then, i'd keep looking forward to every dance practice and every time i'm with all of you :)